[...and true to her word, Lup arrives a while later. It's still weird to see Lucretia, because the happy warmth that came with best friends and the sting of what had happe...would happen was a strange cocktail of emotions.
She's mad, but there's nothing to be done about it. It wasn't Lucretia.]
(She'd moved out into the living room in anticipation of this; the wait had been a bit torturous. She'd been expecting Lup to teleport in, but it makes sense that she'd rather take her time. Still, Lucretia is very anxious by the time she does show up. She's been pressing her fingernails into her palms, squeezing her hands into little tight fists.
How exactly are they supposed to start this conversation? Lup look so sad.)
[Teleporting was more a Taako thing, it always made her queasy.]
I... don't know.
[She sinks into the couch, curling up a bit and leaving space between them.]
All of this timeline shit is fucked up, Luce. There's something damaged in my brother because some future you created, and I can't... everyone forgot me.
[She covers her mouth with a hand to hold in a sob. She had grieved so much for Taako, so now she can take a moment to grieve for herself. With her best friend.]
I was nothing. Not dead, just nothing... and that's a lot worse. Everyone forgot and Barry made Taako kill him so he wouldn't forget, but he still couldn't find me.
[A decade of looking.]
A-and I know it isn't you, not the you you are now and it's not fair to be angry - and fuck I was so angry - but I don't know how else to handle this shit.
(Lucretia badly wants to reach for Lup, to comfort her, but doesn't know if she's allowed to yet. She ends up making a weird little jerking movement from where she's sitting, an aborted attempt to reach out and take her hand, or put an arm about her. She scrunches a little further into her side of the couch instead.)
I... I'm sorry, Lup. (How many times can she say that before it starts sounding fake? She didn't know about Barry, and now she feels sick and tired all over again. Just another bullet point in the laundry list of people she will grow up to hurt.
When she next speaks, her tone is clipped, weary.)
You can be angry. Just like I can sit here and apologise until I turn blue in the face, but– it's not worth it, Lup. None of this amounts to anything. You being angry at me doesn't change what happens.
(Maybe it's runoff from being mad with Taako, but she's feeling quite bitter all of a sudden, staring at a fixed point on the coffee table in front of the couch so she doesn't have to see Lup's expression while she talks.) Don't you think that I've been wishing I could undo it? That I could stop all of this from happening? Do you really think that I wanted any of this to happen to either of you? Ever since Taako told me about this I've been spinning in circles trying to come up with reasons as to why this will happens and all I can come up with is either I turn– comically evil, or I make a mistake.
(She laughs, short and sharp.) I'm tired of this. Of being cast as the villain. Could you perhaps meet me halfway, here? I know that you both have each other and you don't need me, but I... I need you. You're my family. And I'm asking you to forgive me.
[I know that you both have each other and you don't need me, but I... I need you.
Lup's heart aches at that and she looks over at Lucretia. The tired, broken and bitter woman that used to be so... Lucretia. Her best friend. The only other girl she's spent 82 years with.
Her family.]
I can't forgive you because none of this is your doing. I can forgive this future you eventually, especially if we can have some time to talk about why all of this is happening.
[She hates talking about shit but sometimes it's just needed. She calls out Taako when he's being too much of a dick, so if she's ever found...
...when she's found, she's gonna have to listen to future-Lucretia's side of all this.]
But you? Fuck, you're my best friend and I hate being mad like this so... I guess we can start over?
[Lup sighs, her lashes wet with held-back tears, and then nods like she's made up her mind. Turning to face Lucretia, she opens her arms in a come-here gesture.]
(Her gaze snaps from the coffee table to Lup as she talks, and if she looks a little caught off-guard, it's because she was expecting a very different reaction.
Starting over sounds... wonderful. It's what she had hoped for from Taako, but had resigned herself to never achieving it. She nods slowly, and even uncurls a little on the spot, relieved; she had been prepared to really argue her case. Lup is looking at her now with this awful, pained expression that makes Lucretia's heart ache. There are tears on her eyelashes. When she holds out her arms, Lucretia hesitates, then scoots over and leans into her embrace, dropping her chin onto Lup's shoulder.)
I– I don't want to be mad either, (she mumbles, embarrassed by her bitter outburst now.) I'm sorry for snapping like that. I'm not mad at you, I'm just... tired. I want everything to be okay.
[She's so tired of all these emotions. Sadness, bitterness, anger. Not only this thing, but everything else as well. Taako's loneliness in this place, his breakup, the dude that sexually assaulted him. The Hunger still around even decades after she becomes a lich, making her second-guess herself. Missing Barry. Fuck, missing Barry so damn much.
A month of emotional rollercoasters take their toll even on the strong, independent types. The protectors, the fighters, the technically-two-minutes-older sisters.
So here she is, holding Lucretia in her arms and trying to not sob on her.]
Me too. I just want to enjoy this place while we can while not having to look at the sky. Not... not arguing. Future Lup can deal with Future Lucretia. I want you.
It's okay, (Lucretia soothes, gently putting an arm around her. She can feel that unbidden, upset energy bubbling beneath Lup's skin; she lies her palm flat on her back and rubs in little, comforting circles.)
You have me. And when we get to the, uh... the other me, we'll just take it one step at a time. (She is essentially walking Lup though how to deal with her terrible betrayal. It's a strange feeling, like having an out of body experience.)
We're a team, you and I. And Taako, no matter... no matter what. (She huffs a sigh, hiding her frown in Lup's shoulder. She'll definitely have to make nice with him after this, huh.)
Uh huh– (this last bit comes out a little strangled, but only because Lup is holding her very tightly. She pulls back, freeing herself with a soft chuckle.)
Hey– don't cry, okay? (Lup still looks a little fragile, just about the edges. Lucretia gives her a little pat on the shoulder, squeezing it in solidarity,) or you're going to make me cry.
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[...and true to her word, Lup arrives a while later. It's still weird to see Lucretia, because the happy warmth that came with best friends and the sting of what had happe...would happen was a strange cocktail of emotions.
She's mad, but there's nothing to be done about it. It wasn't Lucretia.]
...hey.
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(She'd moved out into the living room in anticipation of this; the wait had been a bit torturous. She'd been expecting Lup to teleport in, but it makes sense that she'd rather take her time. Still, Lucretia is very anxious by the time she does show up. She's been pressing her fingernails into her palms, squeezing her hands into little tight fists.
How exactly are they supposed to start this conversation? Lup look so sad.)
Are... are you okay?
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I... don't know.
[She sinks into the couch, curling up a bit and leaving space between them.]
All of this timeline shit is fucked up, Luce. There's something damaged in my brother because some future you created, and I can't... everyone forgot me.
[She covers her mouth with a hand to hold in a sob. She had grieved so much for Taako, so now she can take a moment to grieve for herself. With her best friend.]
I was nothing. Not dead, just nothing... and that's a lot worse. Everyone forgot and Barry made Taako kill him so he wouldn't forget, but he still couldn't find me.
[A decade of looking.]
A-and I know it isn't you, not the you you are now and it's not fair to be angry - and fuck I was so angry - but I don't know how else to handle this shit.
I don't know this future Lucretia. Just you.
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I... I'm sorry, Lup. (How many times can she say that before it starts sounding fake? She didn't know about Barry, and now she feels sick and tired all over again. Just another bullet point in the laundry list of people she will grow up to hurt.
When she next speaks, her tone is clipped, weary.)
You can be angry. Just like I can sit here and apologise until I turn blue in the face, but– it's not worth it, Lup. None of this amounts to anything. You being angry at me doesn't change what happens.
(Maybe it's runoff from being mad with Taako, but she's feeling quite bitter all of a sudden, staring at a fixed point on the coffee table in front of the couch so she doesn't have to see Lup's expression while she talks.) Don't you think that I've been wishing I could undo it? That I could stop all of this from happening? Do you really think that I wanted any of this to happen to either of you? Ever since Taako told me about this I've been spinning in circles trying to come up with reasons as to why this will happens and all I can come up with is either I turn– comically evil, or I make a mistake.
(She laughs, short and sharp.) I'm tired of this. Of being cast as the villain. Could you perhaps meet me halfway, here? I know that you both have each other and you don't need me, but I... I need you. You're my family. And I'm asking you to forgive me.
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Lup's heart aches at that and she looks over at Lucretia. The tired, broken and bitter woman that used to be so... Lucretia. Her best friend. The only other girl she's spent 82 years with.
Her family.]
I can't forgive you because none of this is your doing. I can forgive this future you eventually, especially if we can have some time to talk about why all of this is happening.
[She hates talking about shit but sometimes it's just needed. She calls out Taako when he's being too much of a dick, so if she's ever found...
...when she's found, she's gonna have to listen to future-Lucretia's side of all this.]
But you? Fuck, you're my best friend and I hate being mad like this so... I guess we can start over?
[Lup sighs, her lashes wet with held-back tears, and then nods like she's made up her mind. Turning to face Lucretia, she opens her arms in a come-here gesture.]
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Starting over sounds... wonderful. It's what she had hoped for from Taako, but had resigned herself to never achieving it. She nods slowly, and even uncurls a little on the spot, relieved; she had been prepared to really argue her case. Lup is looking at her now with this awful, pained expression that makes Lucretia's heart ache. There are tears on her eyelashes. When she holds out her arms, Lucretia hesitates, then scoots over and leans into her embrace, dropping her chin onto Lup's shoulder.)
I– I don't want to be mad either, (she mumbles, embarrassed by her bitter outburst now.) I'm sorry for snapping like that. I'm not mad at you, I'm just... tired. I want everything to be okay.
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A month of emotional rollercoasters take their toll even on the strong, independent types. The protectors, the fighters, the technically-two-minutes-older sisters.
So here she is, holding Lucretia in her arms and trying to not sob on her.]
Me too. I just want to enjoy this place while we can while not having to look at the sky. Not... not arguing. Future Lup can deal with Future Lucretia. I want you.
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You have me. And when we get to the, uh... the other me, we'll just take it one step at a time. (She is essentially walking Lup though how to deal with her terrible betrayal. It's a strange feeling, like having an out of body experience.)
We're a team, you and I. And Taako, no matter... no matter what. (She huffs a sigh, hiding her frown in Lup's shoulder. She'll definitely have to make nice with him after this, huh.)
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...it is not now, though. Right now, she's busy hugging Lucretia close and probably squishing her.]
A team. You, me and Taako.
[A smaller team than they were used to, but a damn good one.]
No matter what.
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Hey– don't cry, okay? (Lup still looks a little fragile, just about the edges. Lucretia gives her a little pat on the shoulder, squeezing it in solidarity,) or you're going to make me cry.
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[Lup leans back and dabs at her eyes with a groan.]
I'm so tired of all these emotions, Luce. I'm not having any for at least a few cycles after this place.
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(She exhales hard, then drops her shoulders, and smiles tentatively.)
Friends?
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Friends.